Blitzkrieg Survey
by Kinkajouu
Summary: The Blitzkrieg Boys take a survey... and the questions don’t get answered as normally as one would think. Warnings: randomness, sex references and swearing.
1. Chapter 1

+ The Blitzkrieg Boys take a survey... and the questions don't get answered as normally as one would think.

+ Warnings: Randomness, and sex references, and swearing, and stuff... LOL.

+ Disclaimer: I own it not.

+ A/N: I've seen a similar thing to this in the Harry Potter fandom. It was epic. Hence why one must be done for the Beyblade fandom!

Also... this is a survey by an American. So this 'story' is going to be written by an English person, doing an American quiz for Russians. LOL.

* * *

**Blitzkrieg Survey**

**Question 1: Have you ever been to a football game?**  
Tala: Eh, no. I have no interest in a game that involves kicking a ball around a field.  
Bryan: I thought you _liked_ kicking balls, Tala?  
Tala: No, Bryan. You've confused that with _licking_.  
Bryan: ... too much information, dude. TMI.

**Question 2: How old is the computer you're on?**  
Ian: I don't know. Shall I ask it? Ohh, Mister Computer, how oooldd are youuu?  
Bryan: Ian, don't be gay. The computer is a year old. You know that.  
Tala: Oh my God, is this heap of junk really a year old?  
Kai: Tala, I paid good money for this 'heap of junk'.  
Tala: Yes, and you'll be paying good money for a new computer soon, as this one is old and decrepit.

**Question 3: When you looked in the mirror today, what was your first thought?**  
Tala: 'Why, yes. I am a sexy beast'.  
Bryan: 'I need to stop drinking so much.'  
Kai: 'These triangles get harder to draw every day...'  
Spencer: 'I want a nose job'.  
Ian: Nothing, as I am too short to see into the mirror T_T

**Question 4: Chocolate or vanilla ice cream?**  
Tala: Vanilla.  
Ian: Chocolate.  
Tala: Vanilla!  
Ian: Chocolate!  
Tala: Vanilla when it's dripping all down Kai's chest!  
Ian: E-gad! *Faints*

**Question 5: Don't you just hate it when you burn your tongue/mouth on food?**  
Spencer: Yes.  
Tala: Anal burn is worse, though. Try having that on your tongue.  
Bryan: TALA! Will you stop with that!  
Tala: What?! I'm only telling the truth! Isn't it the truth, Kai?  
Kai: Erm... yeah.

**Question 6: What are your three main watched TV channels?**  
Spencer: The cooking channel, the nature channel, and the music channel, Scuzz.  
Tala: When do we ever watch the cooking channel?  
Spencer: Err, I might flick past it every now and again...

**Question 7: Have you ever painted your face for a sports game?**  
Bryan/Tala/Spencer/Ian: *Looks at Kai*  
Kai: I don't paint it for sport! I paint it for personal reasons!  
Bryan: What, to hide your acne?  
Kai: Excuse me, I am Kai Hiwatari. I do not get acne.  
Bryan: Sure.

**Question 8: If you were a dog, which breed would you be?**  
Bryan: Bulldog.  
Ian: Yeah, because you have a miserable face.  
Bryan: I do not have a miserable face!  
Ian: Bryan, I have not once seen you crack a smile.  
Bryan: I can smile!  
Ian: Yeah, I'll dance around in front of Tyson naked the day you smile...  
Bryan: I'm holding you to that.

**Question 9: Do you like the snow or rain better?**  
Tala: Snow.  
Spencer: Rain.  
Bryan: Snow.  
Kai: Rain.  
Bryan: Oh yeah, so you can do all that emo shit.  
Kai: I'm not emo!  
Bryan: Not much.  
Ian: He's about as emo as my Grandma.  
Kai: Thanks, Ian.  
Ian: And she killed herself two years ago.  
Kai: ... I'm not emo!

**Question 10: Did you ever wet the bed when you were younger?**  
Tala: The Blitzkrieg Boys never did bedwetting. Except Ian.  
Bryan: Ian _still_ wets the bed. Hahahahahahahaha.  
Ian: I do not!  
Bryan: Yeah, so that's why Spencer had to change your bed sheets yesterday because you had a nasty dream about Boris.  
Ian: Spencer! Bryan's being mean to me again!  
Spencer: Next time, change your own sheets.

* * *

+ A/N: Sooo... to continue this or not? XD


	2. Chapter 2

+ Warnings: Same as last time... hahaha.

+ Disclaimer: I own it not.

+ A/N: It's baaaaaack =D

* * *

**Blitzkrieg Survey**

**Question 11: If you could go anywhere in the world right now, where would you go?**  
Tala: To bed. With Kai.  
Kai: Now, now, Tala... not in front of the children.  
Ian: I'd like to go to Muff... Kilcock... Kilkenny...  
Bryan: You've been watching porn again, haven't you?

**Question 12: What colour is your mobile phone?**  
Tala: Blue.  
Kai: Red.  
Bryan: Green.  
Spencer: Pink.  
Ian: PINK?!  
Spencer: Dude, don't question it. Pink is a very manly colour.

**Question 13: Who is the 4****th**** person on your missed call list on your phone?**  
Kai: Tyson. Actually, he happens to be the 1st, 2nd, 3rd and 5th person, too.  
Tala: You're mean. And you can't ignore him forever.  
Kai: I can and I'm going to.  
Spencer: The 4th person on my missed call list was my Mummy T_T  
Bryan: You don't have a Mummy.  
Spencer: Yes I do. Cenotaph wouldn't be happy to hear you say that.  
Bryan: Eww...

**Question 14: How much cash do you have on you?**  
Bryan: None, because Tala and Kai hide all the God damn money, thinking that the rest of us will spend it on useless crap and stuff we don't need if we have it. Grr.  
Tala: No, if we give you money to buy electric or something, you go and spend it on alcohol!  
Bryan: I have my needs!  
Tala: And so do I! I can't use my hairdryer if we have no electric!

**Question 15: What did the last text message you received on your mobile phone say?**  
Kai: "Come home, I need to be banged." Guess who from.  
Tala: "I'm on my way. And leave your arse alone. I know what you're like."  
Bryan: "You might have tried to kill me all those years ago, but I just want to let you know... I want your kittens." I'm officially scared.  
Spencer: "You were great in ballet, today!" Erm...  
Ian: "Free stilts?" You're a bastard, Bryan...

**Question 16: Last furry thing you touched?**  
Ian: Oh God.  
Tala: Kai's penis.  
Bryan: Kai's penis is furry?  
Kai: I'll have you know it isn't.  
Bryan: Yeah, but... how do we _know_?  
Kai: You'll have to take my word for it, because I'm not showing you. The last furry thing I touched was the cat.  
Bryan: You sick bastard!  
Kai: Not in _that_ way!

**Question 17: Choose: A million bucks, or to be able to fly?**  
All: Fly.  
Tala: As we already really have a million squidaroonies.  
Kai: No, _I_ have the millions. You lot just sponge off of me.  
Bryan: Too right.

**Question 18: Have you ever faked sick?**  
Tala: Have you ever wiped my arse?  
Ian: WHAT?!  
Kai: He means that, no, he has not faked being ill.  
Ian: Why did he have to bring his arse into it, though?!  
Bryan: Because that is Tala for you.  
Kai: I can actually answer yes to the second question.  
Bryan: Whoa. We did NOT need to know that.

**Question 19: What is your blood type?**  
Ian: Red.  
Bryan: That's not a type, dumbass.  
Ian: Are you sure? I mean, some people have blue blood.  
Spencer: I have blue blood.  
Ian: See?  
Bryan: What the Hell makes you think you have blue blood?  
Spencer: Well... there's a blue line going down my wrist. See?  
Bryan: Spencer, that's a vein.  
Spencer: Oh.

**Question 20: Have you ever had an online relationship?**  
Tala: No. Why would I want to when I have this arse sat next to me.  
Kai: Is that all you think of me as? An arse?  
Tala: Of course not! Much.  
Bryan: I scare people online.  
Ian: not any different from real life, then?  
Bryan: Shut up.

* * *

+ A/N: Is it bad that when I'm writing this, I laugh out loud to myself? =S


	3. Chapter 3

+ Warnings: Same old, same old.

+ Disclaimer: I own it not.

+ A/N: And this is purely because I am bored and need some entertainment... Har har.

* * *

**Blitzkrieg Survey**

**Question 21: Who would you want to be tied to for 24 hours? Why?**  
Tala: Kai. Because he is sexy.  
Kai: Not because I'm your boyfriend, then?  
Tala: Err... that, too.  
Spencer: Anna Pavlova.  
Ian: Who?  
Spencer: She was a famous ballerina.  
Bryan: Was?  
Spencer: Yup. She died ages ago, though.  
Bryan: So, you want to be tied to a dead person?  
Spencer: ... No comment.

**Question 22: Have you ever seen a dead body?**  
Bryan: Yes. Far too many for my liking.  
Tala: We all have, really.  
Ian: Yeah, I'm starting to believe that I just lived in one big morgue, with the amount of dead bodies I've seen.  
Tala: Wouldn't that be horrific?! Living in a _morgue_?!  
Bryan: I'd rather live in a morgue than Tyson Granger's house.  
Tala: Point well made, there.

**Question 23: Have you ever lied to someone to make them feel good about themselves?**  
Bryan: Bryan does not like liars.  
Ian: Why is Bryan talking in third person?  
Bryan: Because he can.  
Tala: I occasionally tell Kai that his bum isn't that big. Does that count?  
Kai: WHAT?! YOU MEAN YOU'RE LYING WHEN YOU SAY THAT?!  
Tala: Oh, shit.

**Question 24: Who is always able to cheer you up when you're sad?**  
Bryan: Megadeth.  
Tala: They don't count.  
Bryan: They bloody well do.  
Kai: Tala cheers me up. Or, he did, until he just admitted that he's lying when he says my bum isn't big.  
Tala: Kai cheers me up... T_T  
Kai: Find someone else to cheer you up, from now on.  
Tala: Oh noes!

**Question 25: In your opinion, what's the best way for someone to die?**  
Bryan: Painfully.  
Ian: Peacefully.  
Bryan: Ian, I will show you that painfully is the best way to die.  
Ian: Spencer, Bryan just threatened to kill me!  
Spencer: You know... I'd love to die onstage.  
Bryan: In your tutu?  
Spencer: I don't have a tutu.  
Bryan: Yeah. Right.

**Question 26: What type of day are you having?**  
Tala: A really shit one, now T_T  
Kai: It's your own fault.  
Bryan: For once, I'm thoroughly entertained.  
Ian: Yeah, at everyone else's misfortune.  
Bryan: Of course.

**Question 27: Have you ever eaten a bug?**  
Tala: Eww, no!  
Bryan: I once swallowed a fly. It was by accident. It landed in my drink.  
Ian: Back in the Abbey, during the days when they'd give us no food, I'd crawl along the floor eating bugs.  
Bryan: You disgusting bastard!  
Ian: What?! They were high in protein =)  
Bryan: Erlack.

**Question 28: How many things are you really thinking about right now?**  
Kai: One: is my bum really that big?  
Tala: You're not even thinking about me?  
Kai: ... nope.  
Tala: T_T  
Spencer: I'm thinking about many things. Like, what we're going to have for tea, and if there's any ballet on TV later, and stuff...  
Ian: Daichi just asked me out in a text message 0_o  
Bryan: Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahaha.

**Question 29: How many windows are open in your computer?**  
Tala: This survey thing, and some porn that Ian was watching before we all hijacked the computer.  
Ian: Oh, you can close that porn, now.  
Bryan: Nah, man. Leave it open. I'll finish it.  
Kai: You're talking about it as though it's a cake or something =|

**Question 30: The last time you were in the fridge, what were you looking for?**  
Bryan: An alcoholic drink.  
Tala: Condoms.  
Ian: Why were you looking for condoms in the fridge?  
Kai: Because he has a habit of shoving them in there.  
Tala: Cooled condoms are ace.  
Bryan: Wouldn't it have the same effect as a cold shower, though? =|  
Tala: Not at all.  
Spencer: I was looking for something more normal. The butter. And I still didn't find it.  
Kai: Oh, yeah, I forgot to tell you, Spence. The cat ate all the butter.  
Spencer: Oh my noes! D=

* * *

+ A/N: I really do need to stop giggling when writing this =|


	4. Chapter 4

+ Warnings: Oh, come off it. You should realise by now what this might contain XD

+ Disclaimer: I still own it not.

+ A/N: Can anyone tell that I'm loving this?

* * *

**Blitzkrieg Survey**

**Question 31: Do you like clowns?**  
Ian: NO! D=  
Bryan: Hahaha, poor ickle Ian is afwaid of clowns!  
Ian: Shut up! They're horrific! Horrifying! HORRENDOUS!  
Tala: I quite like clowns.  
Bryan: Only because you look like one.  
Tala: Oi, you cheeky bastard!

**Question 32: Have you answered all of these questions honestly so far?**  
Bryan: No.  
Tala: That's a lie. You have.  
Bryan: Well, I haven't, now.  
Kai: Have _you_ answered the questions honestly, Tala?  
Tala: Of course.  
Kai: So you really were lying when saying my arse isn't that big T_T  
Tala: Oh God.

**Question 33: Have you ever spent the night in hospital?**  
Bryan: Yes. To be honest, which one of us _hasn't_?  
Ian: Er, me actually.  
Spencer: And me.  
Ian: That's a lie. Remember that time you were doing a pirouette, and-  
Spencer: Shut up. Right now.

**Question 34: Has anyone ever underestimated your intelligence?**  
Tala & Kai & Bryan: No.  
Spencer: Yes. Everyone thinks I'm a thick bastard, yet I can successfully cook a meringue nest without burning it. Unlike most people. Work that one out.  
Ian: Just because you can cook a meringue without burning it, doesn't mean you're intelligent.  
Spencer: ... no, you're right. It means I have SKILLZ!

**Question 35: What's the third text message in your inbox?**  
Ian: "Yeah, baby. I want you." Daichi is still hassling me =|  
Bryan: "If you don't give me back my Beyblade, I'm going to break your legs." That was from Tyson. I stole Dragoon. Mwahahaha.  
Kai: "Can you please tell that bloody teammate of yours to give me back Dragoon?" Guess who.  
Tala: "I'm horny. Sex please." Heh.  
Kai: You ain't getting any tonight, now, after this.  
Tala: T_T  
Spencer: "Can I borrow your tutu?" Oh, bloody Hell.

**Question 36: Are you listening to anything at the moment?**  
Tala: No.  
Bryan: Unless you count the whirring of the computer.  
Tala: And Ian's farts.  
Bryan: And Ian's giggling at his own farts.  
Ian: Teehee.

**Question 37: Anything good happening tomorrow?**  
Tala: Yes, hopefully I'll get laid =)  
Kai: Unlikely.  
Tala: T_T  
Ian: Oh, I'm apparently meeting up with Daichi. I don't know if that's a good thing or not, though...  
Spencer: I'm going to see The Nutcracker! I'm soooo excited!  
Bryan: You are quite literally a freak.

**Question 38: In Winter, would you rather wear jackets or hoodies?**  
Bryan: Jacket. Furry. Wahey.  
Tala & Kai: Hoodies.  
Ian: Erm... ooh, this is a difficult one.  
Bryan: You'd just go naked, wouldn't you?  
Ian: Probably.  
Bryan: I bet Daichi would love to see that.

**Question 39: How do you handle stress?**  
Tala: Not very well. It's making me bald. See my receding hairline. DO YOU SEE IT?!  
Bryan: Yes, Tala. I see it. And I laugh at it every day.  
Tala: You wear a wig, though.  
Bryan: I BLOODY WELL DO NOT!  
Ian: Ian's body cannot cope with stress. It just spontaneously combusts.  
Bryan: No, you're confusing stress with masturbating, now.  
Ian: Oh.

**Question 40: Would you rather spend a whole day with your Mum or your Dad?**  
Ian: Oh, the answer to this should be interesting...  
Bryan: Neither. The bastards.  
Spencer: Mummy =)  
Ian: You can't choose Cenotaph.  
Spencer: Why not?  
Ian: Just... because. He is not your real Mummy. I think I'd rather spend a day with my Mum...  
Kai: ... I don't know.  
Tala: Mum. Not Dad. Though, Mum wasn't a fantastic Mum, either. So maybe neither of them.

* * *

+ A/N: Awkward last question was awkward =|


	5. Chapter 5

+ Warnings: Blah, blah. I don't even know anymore.

+ Disclaimer: I own it not.

+ A/N: *Dropping everything I am doing right now and writing this because Jadeth demanded so*

* * *

**Blitzkrieg Survey**

**Question 41: If you could pack up and leave your life now to move away, would you?**  
Ian: No. I'm quite happy here.  
Bryan: Yes, because you've now got yourself a boyfriend.  
Ian: Daichi is not my boyfriend!  
Bryan: I like how you immediately think we might be talking about him...  
Spencer: My answer is 'no' to this question.  
Bryan: Why?  
Spencer: Just because. Don't question it.

**Question 42: Can you take a bra off with one hand?**  
Bryan: I can't say I've ever tried =|  
Spencer: I can!  
Bryan: ...  
Tala: I've never tried, either.  
Kai: Or me.  
Ian: I wonder if Tyson wears man-bras...

**Question 43: Have you ever been too drunk to remember anything?**  
All: Yes.  
Bryan: What are you on about, Ian? You've _never_ been drunk!  
Ian: I was at your 18th birthday!  
Bryan: No, dude. You had one Jagermeister shot and keeled over.  
Ian: It's the same thing, isn't it?  
Tala: I once woke up naked, in bed with Spencer. I still have no idea how I got there. Or why I was naked.  
Spencer: I do. I don't want to relive the tale.

**Question 44: Has anyone ever borrowed something from you and never returned it?**  
Bryan: You've still got my porn, Ian.  
Ian: You seriously want it back? After I've used it for my own pleasure?  
Bryan: ... well, when you put it like that... no.  
Kai: Hilary used to 'borrow' things off me, you know...  
Tala: Like what?  
Kai: Model Beyblades, books... my underwear. I personally thought her borrowing my underwear was a bit odd, but I let it slide.

**Question 45: If women ruled the world would there be more peace?**  
Ian: I actually think there would...  
Bryan: No there bloody wouldn't! All that PMT and stress and chocolate?! The world would EXPLODE!  
Tala: He is not wrong.  
Spencer: It wouldn't be like that if ballerinas ruled the world!  
Tala: Spencer, we cannot have a ballet-filled world. That would be horrific.  
Kai: It would quite literally be: "I'm going to stop this war through the medium of dance!"  
Tala: Hahahahahahahaha.

**Question 46: Do you twitch when you're falling asleep?**  
Tala: I don't know. Because, you know, I'm falling asleep.  
Kai: You don't.  
Tala: Oh, that's a relief. I can now sleep easy with that knowledge. Hahahahahahaha. GET IT?!  
Kai: Yes, Tala. Do I twitch?  
Tala: When you're falling asleep, or when you're about to-  
Kai: Just when I'm falling asleep, thank you.  
Tala: You do not.  
Ian: I do. Sometimes I twitch so much and so hard that I wake up.  
Bryan: No, that's just a sexual dream that's causing that problem.

**Question 47: Do you have big dreams for your life?**  
Ian: Are you taking the piss out of my height?  
Bryan: If they're not, I am.  
Tala: I do have big dreams! I want a family, a nice car, and nice house away from these three freaks...  
Kai: Tala, having a family requires one of us to be female.  
Tala: We're going to adopt. Whether you like it or not.  
Spencer: I want to be a worldwide known ballet dancer.  
Bryan: Of course you do.

**Question 48: Ever wished on a shooting star? Did it come true?**  
Kai: The star or the wish?  
Ian: Eww, imagine a star coming.  
Bryan: I wished on one once!  
Tala: Shock horror! What did you wish for?  
Bryan: Less snow. I was six at the time, and I was a bit cold.  
Tala: Well, that never came true, then.  
Bryan: I know.

**Question 49: Can you text without looking at your phone?**  
Tala: I can. I mastered it years ago.  
Kai: It gets a bit creepy when he's texting someone and staring at me, though.  
Tala: I can't help it if I can't tear my eyes away from one incredibly sexy dude!  
Kai: If this is another ploy to get me into bed, you can forget it.  
Tala: T_T  
Spencer: Dude, I can't even text when looking AT my phone. My thumbs are too big.  
Ian: Hahaha.

**Question 50: Do you eat junk food or chocolate when you're sad or depressed?**  
Bryan: Neither. I just drink more than usual.  
Tala: Chocolate.  
Ian: Chocolate. And junk food. And then more chocolate.  
Spencer: Neither, because it will spoil my figure!  
Kai: Chocolate, I guess.  
Tala: Yeah, MY chocolate *squint*.

* * *

+ A/N: I've noticed something. The people who make online surveys have HORRIFIC spelling and grammar. I know this was originally an American survey, too, so things are going to be spelt differently to how we spell here in England, but some things are just... REALLY spelled wrong.


	6. Chapter 6

+ Warnings: Some poo talk.

+ Disclaimer: I own it not.

* * *

**Blitzkrieg Survey**

**Question 51: Do you have an innie or an outie belly button?**  
Bryan: Innie.  
Kai: Innie.  
Spencer: Innie.  
Tala: I have a bit of both.  
Bryan: How the Hell can you have a bit of both?  
Tala: Well... it goes in, but then has a little button in it.  
Bryan: ... right.  
Ian: I have an outie. It's horrific.  
Kai: Tyson has an outie, you know. It looks like he has a third nipple.

**Question 52: Which shoe do you put on first?**  
Spencer: The third.  
Bryan: What?  
Spencer: The third one.  
Ian: You have three feet?  
Spencer: No, don't be stupid. I always change my mind when it comes to shoes. I know that if I choose one pair of shoes, I'll just change my mind to something else, so I go for that something else first.  
Bryan: ... right...

**Question 53: Who is the last person you think about before you fall asleep?**  
Tala: Kai.  
Kai: Tala.  
Ian: Aww, how sweet.  
Spencer: Barack Obama.  
Bryan: I am not even going to question that one.

**Question 54: Have you ever had a poem or a song written about you?**  
Bryan: I think Ray made one about me. "You once were a bastard, just like mustard, but now I want your kittens."  
Ian: WHAT THE FUCK?!  
Bryan: I know. That's what I said, too.  
Kai: I think Tala writes stuff. Have you ever written something about me?  
Tala: Yes. It was just "I want to rape you" repeatedly.  
Ian: I'm starting to worry about the world I live in =|

**Question 55: How often do you clean out your ears?**  
Bryan: More often than Spencer and Ian, that's for sure.  
Tala: I have a thing about my ears. I have to clean them out, like, every day. I'm so OCD about clean ears, that I even clean Kai's out.  
Kai: It's a bit weird, having your boyfriend do it for you, but it saves me having to do it, I suppose...  
Ian: I rarely clean out my ears.  
Spencer: Same here.  
Bryan: See what I mean?! You could probably make full candles with amount of wax they have in their lugholes...

**Question 56: Do you scrunch or fold your toilet paper?**  
Ian: Oh God.  
Bryan: Scrunch. Who the Hell folds their toilet paper?!  
Tala: Err...  
Spencer: No comment.  
Bryan: ... please, guys. Tell me you do not fold your toilet paper.  
Tala: Well, I might do...  
Spencer: Still no comment.

**Question 57: Have you ever been dared to do something you totally regretted?**  
Ian: Yes, taking a shit in the ladies' toilets at the BBA championships.  
Bryan: Hahahahahaha, I dared you to do that! Hilary walked in straight after! I nearly died!  
Ian: I found it funny, but I paid the price later, because I was caught on CCTV.  
Tala: Caught taking a shit?!  
Ian: NO! Caught sneaking out of there! Jesus, did I get my arse spanked...

**Question 58: Have you had a splinter anywhere other than your hands?**  
Spencer: I've never had one in my hands, let alone anywhere else!  
Ian: Yes. My buttcheek.  
Kai: I'm not going to ask how you got it there.  
Ian: Please don't.  
Bryan: I once got one in my big toe.  
Tala: Yes, and didn't we know about it... you well yelling and swearing and pulling at the bastard for at least four hours...

**Question 59: When was the last time you used a port-a-loo?**  
Tala: I don't think any of us have used one, to be fair...  
Kai: No, we have not.  
Tala: We're too high class for port-a-loos...  
Kai: Oh, most definitely, my good sir...  
Bryan: We did lock Lee in one, though, if you remember.  
Ian: And then pushed it over.  
Bryan: And then rolled it down a hill.  
Ian: Hahaha, oh, the good times...

**Question 60: Have you ever licked a DVD to clean it?**  
Tala: No! Who would do that? Seriously!  
Ian: I quite often breathe over it to like, fog it up, and the rub it.  
Spencer: That's not the same as licking, though.  
Ian: I know it's not.  
Bryan: Are you sure? We all know you only have half a brain, after all.  
Kai: I'd imagine Tyson to do something like this, actually.  
Bryan: Yeah, as he has no brain at all.

* * *

+ A/N: I have such a headache T_T Paracetamol tiem, LOL. I really want to get my other stories updated, but I'm not feeling the urge =(  
Oh, my sister helped with some of these, LOL.  
Oh, and if anyone wants to write a oneshot for me, for my birthday, then that would be fabulous *wink wink*. My birthday is on Friday, so you have plenty of time =P BlazingGigFox and SilverAngel don't need to, as they are both sending me cards and presents =P (NAKED BRYAN! *eager*).


	7. Chapter 7

+ Warnings: Bob Geldof bashing, MySpace-bashing, etc.

+ Disclaimer: I own it not.

* * *

**Blitzkrieg Survey**

**Question 61: Are your dishes in the dishwasher clean or dirty?**  
Tala: Dirty. In fact, they are always dirty, even if we put them in there to be cleaned, because the damn dishwasher is broken, because a certain someone hasn't called someone else to fix it.  
Bryan: I've told you, I'll call someone! Eventually.  
Spencer: I think we should just send Ian in to do the job.  
Tala: Spencer, I would like the house to stay in one piece, thanks.  
Ian: Are you saying I'm incompetent?!  
Tala: Yes. Yes I am.  
Bryan: In more than one way. Hahahaha.

**Question 62: Can you crack your neck?**  
Spencer: I think all of us can...  
Kai: I can, but I don't like to. It feels weird.  
Tala: Like a penis inserted into an ear.  
Kai: ... not that weird.  
Bryan: Ian can't crack his neck, because he's too fat.  
Ian: You insensitive bastard! You know I hate the fact that I have a fat neck!

**Question 63: Have you ever met someone famous?**  
Tala: We ARE famous!  
Bryan: I once met Bob Geldof.  
Ian: No you did not.  
Bryan: I'll have you know I did.  
Ian: Are you sure?  
Bryan: Dude, one would really know if one had met Bob Geldof, and I KNOW I met Bob Geldof.  
Tala: You hate Bob Geldof. So if you met him, why is he still alive?  
Bryan: Err... there was no weapon in sight?

**Question 64: When is the last time you wanted to punch someone in their face?**  
Bryan: I always want to punch someone in the face.  
Ian: It's true, he does. And I want to punch him in the face right now for insulting my neck.  
Bryan: It wasn't your neck I insulted; it was you as a whole. Dimwit.  
Spencer: I never want to punch people in the face.  
Ian: LIES!  
Kai: I wanted to punch Tyson in the face the other day.  
Tala: I want to punch Tyson in the face _every_ day, for stealing the championships from us each fucking year!

**Question 65: Have you ever blocked someone on MySpace before?**  
Spencer: MySpace? What is this MySpace?  
Bryan: Get with the times, dude. It's a social networking site. A shit one at that.  
Ian: It used to be good before it got crap.  
Tala: I used to have one.  
Bryan: Eww.  
Tala: I know.  
Kai: Did you ever block anyone on there?  
Tala: Yeah. Tyson.

**Question 66: Has someone ever made you a Build-A-Bear?**  
Kai: No...?  
Ian: I actually dread to think what that is.  
Tala: It's probably like a gay, hairy robot that you have to make.  
Bryan: I highly doubt that.  
Tala: But it's possible!

**Question 67: What is something you need to go shopping for?**  
Spencer: Food. We're running out of it, because these idiots keep eating it throughout the day without telling me, and when I go to use stuff for a big meal, I find it's all gone.  
Ian: We can't help it if we get hungry!  
Tala: We need to buy more condoms and lube, Kai.  
Bryan: Correct me if I am wrong, but didn't you two buy some two days ago?  
Kai: Yup.  
Tala: It's all gone. Kai could not get rid of his stiffy yesterday, no matter how much we had sex.  
Bryan: ... thanks for that.

**Question 68: Have you been to the movies in the last 7 days?**  
Ian: No, but by the looks of things I'll be going tomorrow with Daichi. He wants to go and see High School Musical 3...  
Bryan: Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha-  
Tala: No, I don't trust us to go after last time.  
Kai: Me neither.  
Bryan: -hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha-  
Kai: I still blame you for that, you know.  
Tala: Why?!  
Kai: You kept groping me!  
Bryan: -hahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA-  
Tala: I didn't say, "jump on my cock, and ride me like a cowboy", though, did I?!  
Bryan: -AHAAAHAAAAHAAAHAAAHAAAHAAA!  
Spencer: Dude, chill.

**Question 69: What is in your pocket right now?**  
Ian: My phone.  
Bryan: Ditto.  
Spencer: A... jockstrap?  
Ian: What the fuck?  
Bryan: You use it for ballet, I assume?  
Spencer: I use mine for ballet. However, this one in my pocket is not mine.  
Bryan: =|  
Spencer: My thoughts exactly.  
Tala: Anal beads!  
Kai: Forget it.  
Tala: T_T

**Question 70: What's your favourite soup?**  
Bryan: Chicken.  
Spencer: Potato and leek.  
Bryan: Leeks... eww...  
Ian: Tomato. Because I'm a boring bastard.  
Bryan: I will agree to that.  
Kai: Minestrone.  
Tala: I don't like soup. It reminds me of hospitals. And I don't like hospitals for obvious reasons.

* * *

+ A/N: I have nothing against Bob Geldof, just so you know XD And what IS a Build-A-Bear? =|  
I really need to stop laughing out loud when I write this... XD


	8. Chapter 8

+ Warnings: McDonald's bashing, more MySpace bashing.

+ Disclaimer: I own it not.

+ A/N: I'm starting to question why I'm even writing this *shrug*.

* * *

**Blitzkrieg Survey**

**Question 71: What was the last play you saw?**  
Bryan: Eww, we do not watch plays!  
Ian: Spencer goes to see ballet shows, though. Does that count?  
Tala: Probably. Spencer, what was the last thing you saw?  
Spencer: Grease.  
Tala: No, we're on about ballet shows.  
Spencer: Yeah, Grease. I must say, the ballet dancers did a fantastic interpretation of it.

**Question 72: Do you feel you have a purpose or calling in life?**  
Tala: Yes, to screw Kai as much as possible before we die.  
Kai: You're still not getting any tonight.  
Tala: T_T  
Spencer: To be the best ballet dancer in teh world!  
Kai: I'm destined to take over the whole God damn Hiwatari business.  
Bryan: Don't complain. It makes you a very rich dude, and then I am your best friend forever.  
Kai: Creep.

**Question 73: Do you have a good relationship with your family?**  
All: NO!  
Ian: I used to get on with my Grandma. Before she died.  
Bryan: Family... evil.  
Kai: Boo, hiss, rawr.

**Question 74: Have you ever found anything gross in one of your McDonald's meals?**  
Bryan: Yeah. The burger, the fries, and the drink.  
Tala: McDonald's meals are horrific.  
Kai: There was a dead fly stuck to our table the last time we went, do you remember?  
Ian: Yeah, and the floor was dirty.  
Tala: And the cashier had very dirty ears.

**Question 75: Name someone from your past that you wish was still here?**  
Tala: No one.  
Bryan: Agreed.  
Spencer: Thirded.  
Ian: Oh, I dunno. I quite miss Boris. Heh.  
Tala: You are NOT funny.

**Question 76: What's your favourite zoo animal?**  
Bryan: Spencer.  
Spencer: Oh, ha ha, Bryan. Ha ha.  
Ian: I like elephants.  
Bryan: Only because you look like one.  
Ian: How the Hell do I look like an elephant?!  
Bryan: One word: nose.  
Tala: I like wolves.  
Bryan: You would.  
Kai: I like lions. Raawwwr.

**Question 77: Did you have an imaginary friend as a child?**  
Tala: Whoa, no. If we were caught talking to anyone, even imaginary friends, we'd be beaten half to death.  
Bryan: I used to secretly have one. He was deaf.  
Tala: That's quite lucky.  
Bryan: It is. He also liked to spy on you in the shower.  
Tala: That's just weird =|

**Question 78: Do you like Hot Pockets?**  
Kai: I like my pockets quite cold, actually.  
Tala: I don't think that's what the question means.  
Bryan: Yeah, aren't Hot Pockets something American?  
Kai: I don't know or care. I just like my pockets cold, thanks. Imagine if I had a chocolate bar in my pocket, and my pocket was hot! It'd melt!

**Question 79: Do you like Coke in a can, bottle or as a fountain drink?**  
Ian: YOU CAN GET COKE FROM FOUNTAINS? THAT'S AWESOME!  
Spencer: I have yet to see that =|  
Bryan: I prefer it from a can, to be honest.  
Tala: Same here.  
Kai: I quite like it in a glass.  
Ian: FOUNTAIN!

**Question 80: MySpace or Facebook?**  
All: Facebook.  
Bryan: I don't even have either of them...  
Tala: Dude, you should totally get Facebook! It has this application where you can make a farm, and have animals and grow crops! It's amazing!  
Bryan: ... okay...  
Kai: MySpace might've been around first, but Facebook was the one to have all the applications first... then the likes of MySpace and Bebo started copying that, and that is what made them shit.  
Spencer: I like Twitter, y'know. You do nothing but say stuff like, "I'm having a cup of tea" or, "I'm going to have a poo!" and stuff.  
Bryan: ... =|

* * *

+ A/N: Awkward question 73 is awkward =|  
I'm off out tonight... XD Ahh, I need to go out and actually have a laugh. It will be funny.  
I would ask you to review, but I never ask you to review, so I won't. XD


	9. Chapter 9

+ Warnings: More sexualness, Bryan gets a bit pwned...

+ Disclaimer: I own it not.

+ A/N: Uh maw gaw. I has so much to do T_T

* * *

**Blitzkrieg Survey**

**Question 81: Do you ever click on pop-up ads?**  
Tala: NEEVVEERRR!  
Bryan: I do occasionally.  
Kai: So that's why the computer's full of viruses.  
Bryan: I can't help it! Sometimes they just pop up unexpectedly, and I click them whilst trying to click something else. And sometimes they're advertising boobs.  
Ian: And we all know you can't resist clicking a good pair of tits.  
Bryan: Exactly.

**Question 82: Are you at home or with friends more often?**  
Kai: Err, I think it's kind of both...  
Tala: The good thing about living with your mates, though, is that you can just party at home.  
Spencer: This is true. Though, we now have to make sure that Bryan doesn't smash things here when he gets drunk, instead of clubs and pubs.  
Ian: You know, I so wish I was there that time Bryan started pole dancing.  
Spencer: You really don't.

**Question 83: Is your room painted or wallpapered?**  
Kai: Papered.  
Bryan: Painted.  
Ian: That's because you kept ripping the paper off, so Tala wouldn't let you have it papered again.  
Bryan: Yeah, shut up, then.  
Tala: I remember the night I found you up at 3am attacking your walls with a scraper.  
Bryan: The wallpaper was hideous!  
Kai: Personally, I think the pink of the wallpaper went very well with your eyes...  
Bryan: Fuck you, Kai. Fuck you.

**Question 84: Do you have a significant other?**  
Ian: Oh God.  
Bryan: Yes?  
Ian: You're not God.  
Bryan: I am now.  
Tala: *Stares dreamily at Kai*  
Kai: Tala is my significant other, but he's still not getting any sex tonight.  
Tala: T_T

**Question 85: Have you ever told a girl/boyfriend you loved them but didn't mean it?**  
Bryan: No.  
Ian: That's because you've never HAD a girlfriend.  
Spencer: He might get lucky, though. Ray does want his kittens, after all.  
Bryan: Shut up!  
Tala: Yes.  
Bryan: Yes as in, you agree with me that they shut up, or yes as in, answering the question.  
Tala: Answering the question.  
Kai: YOU DON'T LOVE ME?! YOU'RE DEFINITELY NOT GETTING ANY TONIGHT!  
Tala: DID I SAY IT WAS YOU?! No, I had another, and he was clingy and wimpy as shit.  
Kai: There was someone before me?  
Tala: Yes. What? You expect me to close off my arse and cock and wait for you to come along?

**Question 86: Do you play with your Gummy Bears?**  
Ian: I make them have sex.  
Bryan: Because you have a serious lack of it yourself, and you secretly wish that it was you bumming the bottom bear.  
Ian: No, I make them have sex because Gummy Bears have their needs, too.  
Tala: Does ripping their heads off count as playing with them?  
Spencer: Err, possibly not.  
Tala: We'll have to _really_ play with them later on, Kai *wink*.  
Kai: You don't really listen when I say you're not getting any, do you?  
Tala: T_T

**Question 87: Did your Mum or Dad ever put soap in your mouth?**  
Bryan: On a daily basis, now that you mention it.  
Tala: What the fuck is with all these questions about family and shit?!  
Spencer: No, it's just about family. I don't see anything about shit.  
Tala: You know what I mean!  
Kai: Why would they put soap in your mouth...?  
Bryan: Supposedly to 'clean' it out after swearing. My Dad just did it for torture, though.  
Ian: T_T

**Question 88: Do you lick your lollipops or suck them?**  
Ian: Oh God.  
Bryan: Yes?  
Ian: Will you stop that?!  
Bryan: No.  
Tala: I like to do a bit of both. I like to suck them nice and hard, and then gently flick my tongue around the top, and-  
Kai: You're still not getting any.  
Tala: T_T

**Question 89: Have you ever ran with scissors?**  
Spencer: NO! IT'S TOO DANGEROUS! D=  
Bryan: I have. I'm usually chasing after someone if I'm running with a pointy object.  
Ian: Yes, and that someone is usually me.  
Tala: You shouldn't piss him off so much, then.  
Kai: I ran with scissors once.  
Tala: What happened?  
Kai: I vowed never to do it again =|

**Question 90: Do you still watch cartoons?**  
Bryan: No.  
Ian: I do! I love Spongebob =D  
Spencer: I watch them if Ian's got the remote control.  
Tala: Has anyone seen anime porn?  
Kai: Yes.  
Bryan: No. Am I missing out?  
Tala: You are. It's some seriously good shit.

* * *

+ A/N: Awkward question 87 is awkward =|  
SO MUCH TO DO, SO LITTLE TIME!  
D=


	10. Chapter 10

+ Warnings: Skateboarding rabbits and... stuff.

+ Disclaimer: I own it not.

+ A/N: I'm going to fucking kill myself trying to get shitloads of things done this week XD The very last question was suggested by Scarlet-rider.

* * *

**Blitzkrieg Survey**

**Question 91: Have you ever seen a rabbit skateboarding?**  
Bryan: What shit was the maker of this survey on?!  
Spencer: Imagine that... a rabbit skateboarding...  
Tala: That WOULD be a sight to see...  
Ian: Can we get a rabbit and train it to use a skateboard? Please?  
Kai: No. There are enough animals in this house...

**Question 92: When did you pray last?**  
Spencer: Last night. I prayed for my sanity.  
Bryan: That's pointless, dude. Your sanity is LONG gone.  
Spencer: Thanks, Bry.  
Tala: I don't think I've _ever_ prayed...  
Bryan: Me neither. There is no God.  
Tala: And if there is, he's really fucking evil.  
Ian: I believe in God.  
Bryan: What God? The God of porn?

**Question 93: What was the last button you pushed?**  
Tala: I last pushed the full stop button.  
Ian: Did you?  
Tala: I did. At the end of my answer.  
Ian: So you did...  
Bryan: Tala, stop being a clever dick.  
Tala: It's better to be a clever dick, than a floppy dick, eh Kai?  
Kai: It's still 'no', Tala.  
Tala: T_T

**Question 94: Do you prefer hot tea or iced tea?**  
Spencer: FEELING HOT, HOT, HOT!  
Bryan: =|  
Tala: I prefer iced...  
Kai: Hot.  
Ian: Lukewarm.  
Bryan: Coffee.  
Tala: Those aren't options.  
Bryan: Tough shit.

**Question 95: When was the last time you were on a bicycle?**  
Spencer: I want to ride my bicycle, I want to ride my bike...  
Ian: Tala, he's scaring me 0_o  
Tala: What the Hell do you want me to do about him?!  
Ian: Anything D=  
Kai: Kai Hiwatari does not ride bikes.  
Tala: He only rides me *wink*

**Question 96: Have you ever donated to charity?**  
Kai: Unfortunately so.  
Ian: UNFORTUNATELY?  
Kai: Yes, unfortunately. I don't really have a choice in the matter. The company just decides it's going to give a shitload of my money to charity.  
Bryan: I never give money to charity.  
Ian: You tight bastard.  
Tala: I can imagine he is. He's not had a cock up his arse-  
Bryan: You shut up right there.

**Question 97: Are you donating your organs?**  
Bryan: What, like arms and legs?  
Tala: No, like your liver and kidneys and shit.  
Bryan: There's no way I'm donating my shit! And no one would want my liver. It's so fucked up.  
Kai: Like your brain.  
Tala: I would give my face to someone else, but I quite like it on me, because it makes me dazzlingly good looking.  
Ian: I wouldn't mind donating my testicles.  
Bryan: ...

**Question 98: What is the last thing you ate?**  
Tala: Cock. Kai's, to be specific.  
Ian: Spencer's gonna kill me, because I kind of ate the carrots...  
Spencer: YOU DID WHAT?!  
Ian: I, uh, ate the carrots. I'M SORRY! I GOT HUNGRY!  
Spencer: YOU ATE THEM RAW?!  
Ian: Well, yeah. You can do that, you know.  
Spencer: YOU DISGUST ME!  
Ian: 0_o  
Bryan: Oh, by the way, Spencer, I made chips for me, Tala and Kai with all the potatoes.  
Spencer: WHAAAAT?!  
Bryan: Heh.

**Question 99: Would you date someone 15 years older than you?**  
Bryan: Why not *shrugs*.  
Tala: Kai, are you 15 years older than me?  
Kai: No.  
Tala: Would you date me if I was 15 years older than you?  
Kai: Most probably.  
Spencer: Judy Tate's probably about 15 years older than me. Maybe a little older. I'd do her.  
Ian: I don't think that counts as dating.  
Spencer: Of course it does.

**Question 100: Do you own a credit card?**  
Kai: I own many.  
Tala: And I use them all.  
Bryan: I've got one of your credit cards, thinking about it, Kai.  
Kai: What?!  
Ian: So have I.  
Kai: WHAT?!  
Spencer: And I'll be taking one to pay for all the shopping I've got to do, because you ate all the potatoes and Ian ate all the carrots.  
Kai: WHAAAAAT?!  
Bryan: You heard.

**Question 101: Who would be the person you would want comfort from if you were scared or hurt?**  
Tala: Kai. Because I loves him =)  
Kai: Tala.  
Tala: Because you love me?  
Kai: Yes, because of that.  
Tala: I'm sorry for lying about your arse T_T Besides, I like it big.  
Kai: Good, because I'm not getting its size reduced.  
Tala: Sex?  
Kai: Alright. You win.  
Bryan: Can I answer the question, now?  
Tala: If you must.  
Bryan: I'd like to comfort myself.  
Tala: You interrupted our touching moment to say THAT?!  
Bryan: Yup.  
Ian: Spencer has nice hugs. But I'm warming to Daichi more and more.  
Bryan: You are never bringing that little monkey boy around here.  
Spencer: I get comfort from ballet and cooking, not people =)  
Bryan: ... you weirdo.

* * *

+ A/N: And there we have it. The end of this shoddy piece of work XD  
The skateboarding rabbit question was not originally there. The original question was shit, so I changed it. And it is based on my own rabbit. He skateboards. No, I am not joking.  
Anyway, I hope you enjoyed this as much as I did, and if you beg me enough, I might just do another one for another team sometime in the future. XD


End file.
